literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize