Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
