you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
