If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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