We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
