And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
