The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize