I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
