Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
