My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
