bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
