if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
