Kiss
Puke
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
