When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
