Yo dont text me then not text me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
