he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
