if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
