Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
