i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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