College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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