so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
