you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
