Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
