he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
