either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
