i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
