You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
