Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
