She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize