Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
