its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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