can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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