So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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