i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
