i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
