Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
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He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
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I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
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