So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
