Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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