Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
