My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
