do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
