3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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