I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
