i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
