he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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