Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
