ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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