I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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