I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
