im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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