So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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