I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
