During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
