its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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