before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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