yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
