I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize