hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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