Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
