I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
