I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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