It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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