You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
