rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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