all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
